I have 2 very adorable puppies that I basically think are my children. Yes, I am one of those people. Each dog has come at a different point in my journey, and today I wanted to share how each of them has helped me through this journey.
This is Taco. He has the biggest ears on the planet and loves to cuddle. My husband and I adopted Taco when he was only 8 weeks old (and only 4 pounds!) from the humane society 3 months before I entered treatment. I credit Taco as one of the main reasons that I got healthy today. Dogs are amazing creatures. They love you unconditionally, no matter what you are going through, and they never judge. Every day when I walked in the door completely exhausted from 6 straight hours of therapy, Taco was there to kiss and cuddle and make every thing go away. When I had to eat meals in treatment, it was hard. I made a notecard and listed all the reasons I wanted to get healthy. I also put pictures of my husband, mom, brother and sister, and Taco on that notecard. And as much as every one else's pictures helped, Taco's silly face made me smile even when it seemed impossible and gave me a reason to eat. The more I ate, the more I realized Taco responded more to me. I didn't get as impatient with him, so he wanted to be around me more. And I had a lot more energy, so now he wanted to play with me as much as he wanted to play with my husband. Which made me feel special. Taco was by my side through the entire process, and I couldn't thank him more for the role he played in my getting healthy.
This is Chula. She's very sassy and gives more kisses than any dog I've ever met. My husband and I adopted Chula when she was about 4 months old, 7 months after I discharged from treatment. When we first got Chula, she was very underweight. You could see each one of her ribs. They told us it was because she was on the streets and malnourished. Three days later, I found worms in her poop. We rushed her to the animal emergency and found out that of the 4 kinds of worms a dog can get, Chula had all 4, and we probably saved her life. She was so thin because any food she ate was being taken by those nasty worms. Sitting on the couch with her one day, I had one of the biggest revelations in my life. I looked at her, all skin and bones, with each rib visible and felt so, so sad. And then I realized that when a dog is skinny enough to see all her ribs, I feel sad, but when I was skinny enough to see all my ribs, I felt good, and actually still envied that girl a little. I realized that in society, a dog with visible ribs is starving and on those "Arms of an Angel" commercials, but when a girl's ribs are visible, she's on the cover of Cosmo magazine! That is FUCKED UP. Luckily today, Chula and I are both at healthy weights and both intend to keep it that way.
So basically I think the point I'm trying to make here is to find that something to hold onto if you are in treatment, or recovery, or even thinking about treatment. Whether its a person, an animal, a place, or a freaking rock, all that matters is that you find that one thing to hold on to, that makes getting better worth it, or makes you realize that this isn't how you want to live your life, and hold onto it for dear life. Because I am standing here today, 1 year and 2 days after entering treatment, and can tell you with absolute certainty for the first time that getting better is so worth it, and there is so much more to life than your ED. <3